


Unspoken feelings

by violettflower



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, I just love soonseok okay, M/M, or if there even will be a plot, unsure of where this plot will go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 18:07:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15935570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violettflower/pseuds/violettflower
Summary: Seokmin was happy with his life. He had a loving family and supportive friends. By belonging to Seventeen, he was able to follow his dreams alongside twelve other boys. Finally, after years of practice and hardships, Seokmin was able to sing on the stage.He was happy. He should have been happier. Yet he couldn't be, because sometimes Seokmin felt as if he was suffocating from his own success. There were thoughts which he would always have to keep to himself, feelings that would remain buried inside the darkest places. And Seokmin was okay with this if it meant keeping the people he loved next to him.





	Unspoken feelings

_Lup dup. Lup dup. Lup dup._ Seokmin could feel his heart thump hard against his chest, which was rising up and down heavily. Beads of sweat trickled down his head, neck, and shoulders until they reached his damp singlet. He felt lightheaded, almost to the point where he might collapse. Knees quivering, Seokmin was about to stumble when two firm hands grabbed his shoulders. 

"You alright, Seok?", a familiar voice whispered in his ear. It was a voice which used to provide immediate comfort for Seokmin. While it still did, now he couldn’t help but tense up at the other man’s touch. 

"Yeah, thanks Soonyoung," Seokmin mumbled back. He straightened up to see that Soonyoung's own body was drenched in sweat, his face flushed. Yet he was smiling at Seokmin cheerfully, still full of energy despite the fact they were currently practicing in their dance studio at 3 am. 

"Chin up, we don't have much time until we're back on the stage. We have to show people our best, right?" Soonyoung gave him a light slap on his back. "And let people hear that beautiful voice of yours. You can do it." Beaming, he brought his fist in front of Seokmin. 

Seokmin couldn't help it; he immediately smiled back and gave him a fist pump. 

"That's my boy!" Soonyoung roared, and then ran off yelling, "Who are we? Seventeen! Who are we? Seventeen!" 

The majority of the boys rolled their eyes at Soonyoung, but Seokmin could see that Seungkwan, Chan, and Hansol had joined in his chanting. The gloomy mood that was filled with exhaustion was already getting lighter. The room was now filled with bursts of laughter as Soonyoung started jumping and pumping his hands into the air while incanting, "Seventeen! Seventeen!" 

"He should save that energy for when we actually practice. I bet he's going to be the first one to fall asleep tonight." Jeonghan grumbled as he collapsed on the floor next to him. He was dressed in a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants, just like everyone else. Yet he still managed to look elegant and graceful, although he was probably as worn out as Seokmin. 

"Definitely," Seokmin agreed. It was two weeks until their comeback, and every single one of his team members had been practicing from the peak of the morning till dawn. Their voices were hoarse and every muscle in their body ached. Seokmin was known by others for his bright demeanour, his ability to make people laugh at any point. Yet even he was tired, drained to the point where he found smiling as exhausting. Sometimes all Seokmin desired was one day of sleeping, with no interruptions whatsoever. But then he would see how hard everyone was working, whether it was dancing, singing, rapping, and he would be immediately filled with inspiration and motivation. That was one aspect which Seokmin loved about his team members; they were filled with the passion to perform. He was always grateful to his team members. In the past, he had carried the burden of his dreams on his own. Now, he shared them with twelve other boys. Belonging to a team like Seventeen was one of the best things that happened to him; he couldn't imagine ever belonging to another group or surviving this far without them. He would do anything for Seventeen to stay together, anything. 

With this in mind, Seokmin braced himself as he saw Soonyoung's eyes change from being bright to sharp in an instant. He knew it was time to start practicing again. 

*

It was 4:30 am when they finally finished their practice. Having just finished a warm shower, his eyes were starting to close and he could feel sleep coming soon. After turning the light off, Seokmin snuggled into his blankets as fatigue washed over him. 

He had almost fallen asleep when something cool touched his arm, causing him to yelp. 

"Shh!" someone whispered. Seokmin rubbed his eyes and squinted. It was dark, but he could see someone smaller than him was lying right next to him, their arms wrapped around his body. Their hands were soft like a child's. Seokmin traced his fingers across the person's chubby cheeks, down their nose bridge and brushed past their plump lips. Then he pinched the person's cheeks. "Ow! Stop it Seokmin!" 

"Soonyoung?" Seokmin grumbled although he wasn't too annoyed. He was used to sleeping next to the other members since his trainee years, which was due to the limited number of bed spaces. Back then, Soonyoung and Seokmin had often been sleeping partners because they had been inseparable. Once in bed, the two of them would spend hours chatting about endless topics like when they would debut or who their favourite singers were. Even when they stopped sharing the same room after debuting, Soonyoung would still sneak into Seokmin's room and snuggle next to him, despite the grumbles of his roommates. But there was a moment when Seokmin had asked Soonyoung to stop sleeping with him and Soonyoung had sulkily agreed, using a disgruntled Chan as his partner instead. Since then, Seokmin had been able to have a couple weeks of peaceful sleep by himself. Yet Soonyoung would still return to Seokmin's side every now and then. Like tonight. "I thought you promised you wouldn't sleep with me." 

"But Seokmin-ah," Soonyoung protested. "Chan refused to let me in his bed tonight. Besides, you have a whole room to yourself now! And you're always so much warmer and nicer to cuddle with," Soonyoung wrapped his arms around him even tighter. Soonyoung had always had cold skin, so he had a habit of resting his hands and feet against Seokmin’s stomach and the back of his knees respectively. Right now, Seokmin could feel Soonyoung's hands snake around his waist. The parts of his body where Soonyoung was touching tingled, and it bothered Seokmin how his actions both soothed and distressed him. 

"Well I enjoy sleeping by myself too," Seokmin whined, turning his back against Soonyoung and moving towards the wall. Although it was too dark to see anything, Seokmin was still afraid that Soonyoung might catch sight of how flushed he was.

"Come on, you let Yoon Jeonghan sleep with you!" Soonyoung huffed, but he snuggled in closer. "You act so much colder to me these days, I thought I was your favourite hyung." Soonyoung sounded like he was still joking around, but there was an undertone of uncertainty and hurt in his voice. Seokmin closed his eyes and subconsciously squeezed his hands into fists. 

"You are my favourite hyung, you always are," Seokmin sighed, turning back to look at Soonyoung. This was big mistake, because he was reminded of how soft Soonyoung could look. His lips were pouted, eyes blinking furiously. _Damn. This isn’t fair._ "I swear, you really are!" Hearing this, Soonyoung relaxed his expression.

"Well good," Soonyoung smiled, hugging Seokmin. "Because don't tell Chan but you're my favourite too, and you always will be. Let's sleep now, we've got practice tomorrow too. Thanks for letting me sleep here, goodnight Seokmin." He clasped Seokmin's hands and gave a squeeze before closing his eyes. 

Seokmin stared down at his face. He wondered if Soonyoung could feel, hear how fast his heart was racing. He squeezed his eyes shut, and tried to ignore the cheers in his mind that chanted _’you're Soonyoung's favourite!’_ Sure, he might be Soonyoung's favourite member but that was it. And that was all it was going to be, no matter what. He should have felt unaffected by this thought, completely satisfied with the reality. However, it was with a uneasy and heavy heart that Seokmin finally went to sleep with, tossing and turning as he fell into slumber.


End file.
